Forget Resolutions! Focus on your Values
Happy New Year to you! I imagine that at the beginning of a new year you are feeling inspired to make some changes and set some goals for yourself. However, what often happens? We set specific, lofty goals that we usually maintain for about a week and a half, and then feel disappointed in ourselves for falling off our resolution wagon.
How about taking a slightly different perspective? Instead of focusing on goals per se, which are finite and definite, focus on sprinkling into your life activities and connections that are meaningful to you. What I’m referring to are values. Unlike goals which come/go, are met/unmet, we can infuse our lives with big or small actions that help us live by our values. When we live by our values, our lives are more fulfilling and meaningful.
But, “how do I identify my values? What do I want in life? What would make me happy?” you ask. Those are lofty questions and it can feel incredibly overwhelming to find answers.
Let me give you some suggestions of where to being answering those questions:
Think of a time when you felt content and felt like yourself. It could have been during a particular period of your life (ex that year I studied archeology), it could have been during a large event (eg travelling to Asia), or it could have been during a simple activity (ex baking cookies in my kitchen, hiking with my friends).
Identify what it was about that time/event/activity that brought you peace, joy, or that allowed you to be yourself. Was it seeing a new place? Being with certain people? Using your hands to create?
Based on what you came up with for the previous question(s), refer to a list of values (you can simply search for “values list” and you will come up with many options) and identify which ones best represent what is important to you
Review if you are currently living your life by your values, if you are currently engaged in activities and/or relationships that allow you to infuse those values into them
Once you’ve identified your values you can use them to inform some of your goals if you chose to come up with a few
Come up with activities, behaviours, types of relationships/people that will help you instill some of these values into your life
Keep it simple, with perhaps just one or two small changes, but all the while staying aware of what value(s) you are attempting to live by
Once you’ve made a change, re-evaluate after a few months and check-in to see if you are feeling any more content, or at peace; if so, it may be time to expand on the change, or add new ones
If you’re still feeling a bit lost, go back to your values; perhaps you misidentified those that are important to you, or perhaps the changes you planned were too big, and difficult to effect
Keep your values in your awareness, check-in with them from time to time, and make intentional decisions in your life that are informed by these values
For more tips and information on working with values, you may want to check out the work of Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap.
